Making Waves

About a year ago, a thirty-something-year-old revealed to me that he didn’t want to marry his girlfriend. He explained how they traveled together, how much she turned him on, and that she was a single mother. He also described her as a non-ambitious woman. While he doesn’t have kids of his own and doesn’t want to start a family until he’s married, he made it clear that his girlfriend isn’t “the one.” When I asked him if he wanted to marry her, the room fell completely silent. Her child from a previous relationship is what makes him hesitant. He went on to share that he still doesn’t know what he wants and that he’s not into having a blended family. However, he’s dating a single mother who I imagine has no idea he feels this way. One of his married friends told him, “I know you’re sleeping with this girl and hanging out with her, but if you’re not going to marry her, you need to break up with her.” I even warned him that he may end up getting got if he’s not careful… but he doesn’t thin...

When I was a teenager, I remember writing a list of my greatest fears. One of the things I listed was death. Looking back, it was an interesting item to list because inevitably, death is something each of us will face at some point in our lives. Even though it’s no longer a fear of mine, I understand why and how it’s not a comfortable thing for everyone to navigate. But regardless, this past summer I completed a detailed will. I signed it, had witnesses sign it, and got it notarized. As I was getting everything done, one of the witnesses looked at me and said, “You know, it’s just that you’re so young…” I’ve learned that death doesn’t care how young or how old you are. You can be five, fifteen, thirty, or fifty, and it’s still something that happens. Completing my will wasn’t scary. It gave me peace of mind having documentation in place stating my detailed directives and requests. A year ago, I had one of my kidneys removed. It was a surgery that came with risks that were presented cle...

On a bright and beautiful day, I took a drive out to Hampton to meet a friend for breakfast at a spot I’ve never been to before called Mango Mangeaux. The vibrant colors, chill vibe, and friendly smiles that greeted me as I walked into this location felt special, and I couldn’t wait to explore the menu and great food options they had to offer. It also didn’t hurt having a kind, tall, and very fine waiter serving us too. A few drink options that immediately stood out to me were the Dorothy Dandridge and Harry Belafonte. I knew who these Black-iconic entertainers were but was surprised to see drinks named after them! I ordered the Dorothy Dandridge and noticed how it had similar ingredients to a traditional Shirley Temple. Our waiter explained that the drink originated in the Black community but was stolen and renamed. How interesting is that? I also ended up ordering the Sledge Skillet that came with delicious toast, crispy hash browns and bacon, scrambled eggs, delicious grits, and a s...

I’m convinced that many people don’t think before they speak. Especially when it comes to interacting with people who don’t have children. Normally, I’ve held my peace with this and felt the need to solely address women when it comes to this topic, but lately this is a message that men can benefit from too. Stop saying stupid stuff to people who don’t have children . I know this might be a difficult task for those of you who are nosey, have concerns that have nothing to do with you, or may be unhappy in your own life, but stop with the questions, jokes, and reckless comments. Even if you believe you’re being funny, making conversation, or coming from a genuine place, you’re honestly out of line. Because someone not having children and why is none of your business. I don’t have children, and I honestly don’t know if I will, but as a woman, I’m good with my life either way. I’ll always be grateful for what I have instead of lamenting about what I don’t. Which is probably why getting olde...

I love checking out new coffee spots. It’s nice to take in a space I haven’t been to before that’s so chill, it makes me want to go back and visit again and again. This is exactly how I felt when I stepped into Colattao Coffee House. The kind customer service, the amazing options, and the aesthetically pleasing décor were everything. The aroma of the freshly grounded coffee beans, along with the sight of their mouth-watering pastries didn’t hurt either. I’ve visited this spot just a few times, and always enjoyed myself, my drinks, and my food. It’s definitely worth the trip. If you’re in the Hampton Roads area and looking for a cool and cozy spot for a solo outing or to meet up with a friend, I highly recommend checking out Colattao Coffee House sometime. You’ll enjoy it!

One morning, I was approached by two of my brightest work teenagers who wanted my help passing a letter on to a peer one of them had a crush on. These girls were friends filled with joy, anxiousness, and eagerness about this letter making it to the intended recipient. First, can we celebrate the fact that letter writing is still happening? I love that it’s not an extinct practice. As I took in the details shared with me, I thought it was an adorable move, and I couldn’t help but notice how much these girls reminded me of myself when I was navigating my first crushes at their age: excited, awkward, and nervous. Even when my attempts to reach out were almost always unrequited. My work teenager with the crush was on her second letter to a boy who hadn’t responded to the first one she wrote. She’s a bright, beautiful, and kind young woman with a heart of gold, and as much as I was rooting for her, I also felt bad for her. Because as amazing as she is, the guy she likes isn’t interested... ...