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Buy The Lingerie, Sis

I believe that every woman should have a lingerie drawer. This special drawer should be filled with a variety of personal favorites that make you feel incredible about yourself when you look in the mirror. In my experience, lingerie is a great expression of self-care, especially when it comes to building confidence. I know that lingerie is often associated with how it can make one’s partner feel, but I don’t believe lingerie is just about the male gaze. I believe it’s more so about how it can make a woman feel who chooses to wear it.  As a Christian woman, I struggled (for years) with a lot of shame about my body, expressing my sexuality, and exploring it. I had a lot of unlearning to work through because of some of the controlling and shame-based teachings I was taught in different church communities. During my freshman year of college, I purchased my first thong, and when I came home on spring break, I felt like this was some dirty secret I needed to hide. When my mother did my l...
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Black Male Athletes And Their Dating Preferences

In the 2017 horror film Get Out , there’s an unforgettable scene when one of the film’s villainous characters, Rose, a young white woman, is seen eating Fruit Loops and drinking a bottle of milk through a straw as she searches the internet for “Top NCAA prospects.” This moment in the film is frightening because the purpose of Rose’s search is to ultimately lure young and unsuspecting Black men to a deadly fate after she begins dating them. If you’ve seen the film, you know how everything ultimately turns out, but if you haven’t, you’ll have a better understanding of the bigger picture.  Recently, college football superstar and future NFL prospect, Travis Hunter, became a source of media scrutiny and controversy regarding his relationship with his fiancée, Leanna Lenee. Much of the criticism was around his fiancée and comments she shared about how she wasn’t initially interested in Travis before they started dating. Additionally, she received backlash regarding the couple’s interact...

The Day I Became A Kidney Donor

About a year ago, I had a dream my dad wanted to talk to our family about something serious. I wasn’t sure what he wanted to discuss, but I knew it was something I needed to prepare myself for. Around the time after I had this dream, I remember stopping by my parents place and sensing something was going on that they weren’t telling me. I tried to dismiss what I’d been feeling, but I couldn’t shake it. Something serious was happening. As I returned to my home after visiting them one day, I was in my kitchen washing dishes when a heaviness hit my heart like nothing I’d ever felt before. Something’s wrong with dad. That’s what that dream was about. God, what’s going on? As I continued washing dishes, I started crying and praying. Then in mid-spring, my dad held an unexpected family meeting that would change all our lives forever. He hesitated at first, and as his voice started cracking and he started crying, he said, “Well, I wanted to talk to ya’ll to tell you that I have kidney disea...

Use What You Don't Like To Be An Advocate For Change

I’m not one who enjoys discussing or listening to discussions about politics. In recent years, the political climate has grown increasingly hostile and has caused many families, friends, associates, and more to become divided over different beliefs, policies, practices, and changes as we all navigate this uncertain world and these uncertain times. As I’ve grown older, I’ve aimed to exercise more wisdom and discretion when it comes to openly aligning myself with any political party or candidate (which is no one else’s business but my own). I get why some people feel the need to be vocal and outspoken about their views and who they’re supporting, but I also recognize the power of moving in silence too. When it comes to politics, we often hear a lot about what people don’t want and what they don’t like, but how often do we think about how we can take what we don’t like to advocate for change? Surely this is something to think about among all the “noise” that’s not benefitting any of us. W...

I’m Glad I’m Not Married

When I was about five years old, I was sitting in the backseat of my dad’s car when me, him, my older cousin (my aunt’s son), and my aunt (my dad’s sister) caught my aunt’s fiancé with another woman. My dad had been driving my aunt out to run some errands since she didn’t have a driver’s license or a car. When she spotted her man with another woman, she told my dad to pull the car over, got out of the car, and immediately addressed him. She wanted the keys back to her apartment and was done with him. The other woman she caught her fiancé with slapped him when she realized what was happening, and that was that. When my aunt returned to the car, she was clearly and understandably upset, and the ride back to her place was quiet. Although I was too young to fully grasp what was happening at the time, I knew it wasn’t good. And now, at 34 years old, I can’t imagine how much pain she was in. Her wedding had been planned and paid for – and she never made it down the aisle. My aunt was a beaut...

A Taste At Huntley’s Place

I’m always looking for cool spots to grab a bite to eat, and one of my favorite places to go is Huntley’s Place. From the location, warm and friendly customer service, and of course the delicious food, in my foodie opinion, Huntley’s is definitely one of the best breakfast spots in Hampton Roads. I had a hard time figuring out what I wanted to order because of all the mouth-watering options, so during my first visit, I tried the pineapple and coconut pancakes with a side of crispy hash browns, and then I went back again to try the red velvet pancakes with a side of crispy hash browns too. And of course, I had coffee and a refreshing mimosa on the side as well. This place is fun, welcoming, and just a good time. So, if you’re in the Hampton Roads area and looking for a nice spot to grab breakfast, check out Huntley’s Place and enjoy!

Teacher Table Talk: Learning And Leading

On different occasions, I’ve jokingly said, “I just want to be a regular English teacher who teaches my content well, gets my scholars where they need to be, and quietly works in a corner without being bothered by anyone or anything.” For a moment, I thought I had things set up well to move as a regular and unbothered teacher… until I was approached by one of my administrators about taking on the role of our 8th grade English department’s PLC (professional learning community) Lead.  When I was asked to take on the role, initially I wanted to pass. I had no interest in leadership and knew that if I accepted, I’d no longer be able to work quietly in a corner without being bothered and having new requests and demands placed on me and my time. Because any and everyone who’s ever been in a leadership role can tell you that when you’re leading anything, people will almost always come to you (first) with requests, questions, and problems they’re seeking to have resolved, while sometimes f...