If a guy isn’t trying to see you, contacting you, or staying in touch, please understand he doesn’t like you. More specifically:
He. Is. Not. Interested.
He’s not shy, busy, trying to find the best way to approach you, or figuring out how to curate a flirty text message, pick up line, or conversation.
He. Is. Not. Interested.
Not only is he disinterested, but he may already be spoken for or involved with other women. Most guys won’t tell you those things up front, but I guarantee almost all of them will show you. Just pay close attention.
He. Is. Not. Interested.
Ever heard of the book He’s Just Not That Into You by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo? There’s a film based on the book too. But if you don’t have time to read the book and not into romantic-comedies, keep reading…
I’m addressing this because I keep running into different women… very stunning, amazing, intelligent, incredibly beautiful women, younger and older, who keep pouring over text messages (that weren’t responded to), past phone calls, conversations, and even going as far as monitoring a guy’s social media accounts, trying to figure out what happened?
And I often wonder why these women put themselves through this? And more importantly, why they care to figure out what happened with a guy who wasn’t worth their time, energy, or interest to begin with? But I’ve been there. I get it. I’ve made mistakes and done things that seemed like they made sense at the time. Trial and error have taught me a lot. I’ve given out my number to different guys (often prematurely) because there was some good conversation and shared mutual interests, only later to be ghosted on and ignored. I once texted a guy twice because I thought he didn’t get the first message… #thirsty #embarrassing #neverdidthatagain. I’ve flirted with guys I thought were “into me” only later to learn they were already involved with someone else or just thought I was cute and wanted to chat me up for a bit, only later to learn they deemed someone else worthy and qualified enough to be their girlfriend, fiancée, or wife. Even a few baby mamas have been in the mix. Oh, and the funniest has been the times when some of those guys have resurfaced the moment I actually moved on. I’m no stranger to the I miss you text, and honestly, I’m not moved by it. When I move on, I really move on and don’t look back.
Apparently, when you start glowing up and thoroughly enjoy doing your own thing, guys start coming from all kinds of directions. It’s wild but it happens.
When a woman values herself and understands she’s a good woman, she definitely won’t be the type to settle or devalue herself for any guy. Quality guys will begin to surface and be bold enough to make the first move and pursue her. By the way, if a guy isn’t pursuing you, that should be another obvious sign he’s not interested. I’m a feminist and all for women being proactive, but when it comes to dating, I don’t recommend women do the chasing. Why not be pursued?
Mixed feelings, indecision, inconsistency, and immaturity are all signs to move on and exit any kind of situationship (see what I did there?) as quickly as possible. I count a guy out as soon as I see any of those things early on. Some people may think that’s harsh, and I’ve met other young women who find it inspiring, but I know that a guy who cares about you, values you, respects you, and truly likes you will make time to see you. He’ll respond to your texts. He’ll actually take the time to call. He’ll keep in touch, take you out, won’t already be spoken for, and he’ll pursue you. Don’t play yourself and get strung along for days, weeks, months, or even worse, years trying to dissect a guy or situation that will drain you of time and energy you won’t get back.
Please move on. And share this with other women who need this too.
Don’t let compliments from a guy go to your head or your heart. Don’t let how much he “likes” your photos on social media fool you or be mistaken as a sign that he’s interested (he probably likes the way you look but may not know you well enough to like you.) Never mistake him sliding into your DMs or any other kind of inbox sway you. Don’t fall for empty promises that will usually be laced with “I’ll see you around” or “We’ll definitely get up again…” And especially don’t fall for the late night You up? and I miss you texts. And don’t start taking things into your own hands by joining those dating apps out there and swiping right and left… no shade to those who use em’, but I’ve never trusted or been interested in meeting someone that way. Just seems sketch. To each their own though. And pleeeeeease don’t be the girl that’s clocking a guy’s moves on social media or in real life. That’s just creepy. Get a life. Do great things with the one God’s given you and enjoy it. You deserve nothing less than the best.