Skip to main content

Red Flags

I’m usually right about people when I meet them. My ability to spot red flags is strong. I believe in seeing the good in others, but I also recognize how important it is being able to fully see someone for who and what they are. Spotting red flags is a great way to assess this. Most people will show you exactly who they are if you really pay attention. Think about it. I recently checked out a book on this subject, titled, Red Flags: How to Spot Frenemies, Underminers, and Toxic People in Your Life, by Wendy L. Patrick. An acronym titled FLAG from her book lists the following to look out for when spotting red flags…

Focus
Lifestyle
Associations
Goals

When I dived into this book I was alarmed at the different things an investigator could easily miss and/or catch about someone, and it definitely had me thinking about different people I’ve known and encountered in my own life. If you can identify someone’s focus, pay attention to their lifestyle, notice who they associate with, and what their goals are, you may discover things about them you might have missed upon a couple of encounters or a first impression. How intriguing is that? I’m always paying attention and taking mental notes. I’ve gotten things wrong sometimes about different people, but most of the time I’m usually right about a vibe I’m picking up on, whether it’s good or bad. Being able to read red flags about someone is important, because at least you’ll know what and who you’re dealing with for future references. Sure, giving people the benefit of the doubt is a kind thing to do, but really being able to see clearly is equally, if not more, important. 
Labels:

Popular posts from this blog

Thoughts From a Black Educator: Qualified, Credentialed, and Constantly Undermined

I’m a Black educator in my fifth year of teaching middle school English, and in my third as the 8th Grade English PLC (Professional Learning Community) Lead. And while I genuinely enjoy the purposeful work I get to do, seeing the growth of my scholars, and continuing to hone my skills in a content area I’ve loved since I was a little girl, I’ve had to confront some unpleasant experiences in this space.  I’d been through much worse when I was an academic advisor at a Christian university. Racism, sexism, harassment, and workplace bullying were sadly norms in that environment. However, some of what I’ve experienced as a Black educator hasn’t been normal … It doesn’t seem normal to be the only Black educator in my department – in a predominantly Black school. One of my Black colleagues once said, “It should look like a Tyler Perry movie in here.” But it doesn’t. It didn’t feel normal being reprimanded in a meeting (during my second year of teaching) by an administrator who went in on...
Read more

Ditching Dating And Decentering Men

Today’s current dating climate is bizarre. It’s grown so bizarre, that men barely, if ever in some cases, will approach a woman in person and ask her out on a date. Instead, the new normal has become DM sliding, creeping on social media accounts, and liking photos to build romantic connections, which honestly doesn’t sound too romantic or appealing to me at all. As a child of the 90s and a teenager of the early 2000s, I miss and prefer the time when men interacted with women without hiding behind technology. There was something special about handwritten cards and notes, thoughtful dates, serendipity, and intentionality. After having some unpleasant encounters, embarrassing moments, and failed set ups (from well meaning people who believe I need to be partnered), I’ve decided, that now, at 36, to choose me. I’m ditching dating and decentering men. I’m no longer interested in meeting anyone, dating, or creating space to prioritize a relationship. I’ve never been a male-centered woman any...
Read more

The Day I Made A Will

When I was a teenager, I remember writing a list of my greatest fears. One of the things I listed was death. Looking back, it was an interesting item to list because inevitably, death is something each of us will face at some point in our lives. Even though it’s no longer a fear of mine, I understand why and how it’s not a comfortable thing for everyone to navigate. But regardless, this past summer I completed a detailed will. I signed it, had witnesses sign it, and got it notarized. As I was getting everything done, one of the witnesses looked at me and said, “You know, it’s just that you’re so young…” I’ve learned that death doesn’t care how young or how old you are. You can be five, fifteen, thirty, or fifty, and it’s still something that happens. Completing my will wasn’t scary. It gave me peace of mind having documentation in place stating my detailed directives and requests. A year ago, I had one of my kidneys removed. It was a surgery that came with risks that were presented cle...
Read more