Whenever I’ve had an unpleasant encounter with a guy, whether, in person or online, I’ve wondered:
How would he feel if someone addressed his girlfriend, wife, mom, sister, daughter or any other woman in his life the way he addressed and/or came at me?
Maybe he didn’t have a man in his life that taught and showed him how to respect women.
Maybe men insulting and demeaning women (physically, verbally, or emotionally) was normal practice to him when he was growing up.
We’re living in a day and time where many men, some in the highest ranks of positions from the political arena to common settings such as different workplaces, schools, churches, and families, laugh and joke, and brag and negatively post online comments, about insulting, degrading, and infantilizing women.
I’ve seen some of this behavior in my own social media feed from different guys who have shared vulgar memes about women or in petty attempts to prove a point, got on social media and posted status updates and rants about an ex or woman they may have dated or anticipated dating and ended up parting ways with. They’d share their version of how things went down, and I couldn’t believe some of the stuff I was reading. The negative things I saw were rude, reckless, and immature.
Guys, I understand things may not always work out the way you thought when you met someone, but it’s ill-advised to be the kind of guy that disses and rips a woman on social media. Some things are better left unsaid (or meant to be shared offline and perhaps with a group of trusted confidants in your life.) Manage your emotions, address your pain and issues privately, and don’t insult a woman online or in person. That kind of behavior is unacceptable.
Every situation is different, so I won’t deny that your feelings may be valid, however, are those feelings and your attempts to prove a point worth exposing your business to the world and damaging someone’s reputation in the process? I don’t believe so. What you post and who you post about speaks volumes about your character and the kind of guy you are. I can’t speak on behalf of all women, but as a woman, I pay attention to that kind of stuff and don’t like it, tolerate it, or appreciate it.
Before you post anything, check your motives and think things through first.
As adults, we all (women included) have a responsibility to move and act responsibly with how we carry ourselves online and in real life.
We all make mistakes and at one point or another, have allowed our emotions to get the best of us, but social media is not the place for that. Even if and when you apologize for what you post, it’s already out there for good. So think about that before you “go in” on someone or allow your heightened emotions to make your decisions.
More people are paying attention to you than you think. Don’t destroy your present or your future with a reckless diss. It’s not worth it.
Also, here’s a list of people paying attention to your online/offline behavior that you may think are not:
· Current employers.
· Future employers.
· HR departments.
· People who don’t like you (who are waiting for you to do something foolish so they can use it against you if the opportunity came along.)
· Your parents.
· Your grandparents.
· Your child/children/future children (the internet is forever, so the chance that your kids will eventually see what you posted someday is a strong possibility. That alone should caution you.)
· Your future significant other.
· Your future significant other's family members and friends.