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Weekend Watching My 5th Grade Graduation

I grew up in the ‘90s. 

I can remember playing outdoors a lot, writing letters, reading GoosebumpsThe Baby-Sitters Club, and Sweet Valley High books, book fairs, using encyclopedias to do research for school projects, renting movies from Blockbuster, dial-up internet, floppy disks, and more. 

This weekend I watched my 5th grade graduation ceremony.

I had a VHS copy of it that I was able to have converted to DVD. Seeing my younger self and my peers, some of whom I’m connected to on social media or have crossed paths with since we’ve been adults, brought back a lot of memories and a handful of emotions. Back then, I was a safety patrol. I also performed in our school’s P.E. show and danced to Pat Benatar’s “Hit Me With Your Best Shot.” True story. I don’t know where that recording is, but if I become famous, hopefully, it doesn’t surface 😄. I was also in orchestra, obsessed with Buffy the Vampire Slayer and 7th Heaven, wore Sketchers, and was one goofy, sensitive, and timid kid. As I watched the ceremony, I could see it all in my body language. I smiled but kept my head down a lot and walked with a slouch. 

5th grade had its fun times, but it was also around the time I started experiencing some mild bullying that progressively got worse by the time I got to middle school. It was bad. To this day, I legit hate a lot of what went down from that time, how weak and scared I was, and how unsettling things were too. I had friends, but I was quiet and kept to myself a lot. Looking back, I think a lot of teachers and parents can be blind and dismissive about what kids and preteens are going through sometimes. I can’t imagine what it must be like for young people dealing with bullying now. Especially when they need help or when they’re scared. Sometimes kids and preteens, especially young women in particular, can be really cruel. I was scared to go to school some days and I cried a lot during that time. I wanted to be accepted by my peers and well-liked, and when I tried to get their approval and earn their acceptance, my failed efforts usually backfired in humiliation. I knew I was different, and I never felt like I completely fit in anywhere, and that was rough to process from 11 to 14 years old. And it was something I continued struggling with even after I finished school. Even now, I still don’t fit, but I embrace it and work with it as best as I can. I can assure you that if you felt the same way growing up, and even now, you’re likely destined for greatness. I know this may sound out there, but many people who don’t “fit” have unique paths sprinkled with greatness. 

You’ll see. 

The graduation ceremony was nice. Everyone looked adorable and all dressed up, as our families looked on while we entered the gymnasium, performed a few songs we practiced in chorus, listened to our keynote speaker, and accepted our certificates. It was 2001. Our keynote speaker said, “Things are changing. Technology is quickly surpassing humanity.” He encouraged our parents to make sure we spent our summers being exposed to new things vs. staying indoors playing video games and watching television.

We were all a group of young 5th graders who for a moment in time, just enjoyed being kids. We weren't exposed to things like nonstop news updates, fake news, horrific school shootings, trashy reality television shows, ridiculous political commentary, smartphones, internet trolls, streaming services, or privacy breaches. We had the chance to have childhoods during a time when the pace of life was simple and much less complicated. 

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