Bachelorette Guide To Turning 30

Fun fact: Jesus was about thirty years old when he began his public ministry – Luke 3:23

This particular fact and scripture reference personally helps me keep perspective when I have moments of frustration, insecurity, and impatience about the direction my life is going. 2 Samuel 5:4 also reads, “David (the young shepherd boy, giant slayer, and future king of Israel) was thirty years old when he began to reign.” While I’m actively working and pursuing my goals and dreams and have no aspirations to pursue a life of ministry or ascend a royal throne, I do have an understanding that some things obviously take time.

I also believe turning 30 is gonna be lit.

I’m looking forward to what this new decade has in store for me. Prayerfully, an abundance of great and exciting things, along with plenty of rich experiences too. I know I deserve them. When I think about different ups and downs I’ve pushed through, I know there have to be good things headed my way. A friendly acquaintance insists that in the next two to three years I’ll have a new book published, get married, and start having babies. Which honestly seems like a stretch, but you never know, right? Lately, I’ve been thinking and reflecting on how I’ve spent my twenties and navigated different changes, challenges, and growing pains that can come with being a twenty-something. And while approaching 30, I’ve been thinking a lot about how I want to become a better me heading into the next season of my life. I know it’ll take time, as we’re all works in progress, but I’m up for the task.

A lot of different things I worked for, prayed for and waited for didn’t happen like I hoped, which at different times has been discouraging and disappointing, but I still didn’t allow what didn’t happen or work out to stop me from continuing to pursue different goals and dreams I’ve held close. I’ve had some fun, exciting, and unforgettable times too, but there’s still a handful of different things I’m hoping to cross off my list soon. I’m not exactly where I want to be just yet, but there’s been progress. And for that, I’m grateful.

My Bachelorette Guide To... posts are usually filled with tips and suggestions to help other women, but if you're reading this and turning 30 this year, I hope you embrace it. I hope you'll be thankful that you made it through your twenties and that you get to see another birthday. I hope you choose to be "thirty, flirty, and thriving..." -- thank you 13 Going on 30 😊. And I hope that you have one of the most memorable and joyful decades yet. You deserve it.

Thoughts From a Black Educator: Qualified, Credentialed, and Constantly Undermined

I’m a Black educator in my fifth year of teaching middle school English, and in my third as the 8th Grade English PLC (Professional Learning Community) Lead. And while I genuinely enjoy the purposeful work I get to do, seeing the growth of my scholars, and continuing to hone my skills in a content area I’ve loved since I was a little girl, I’ve had to confront some unpleasant experiences in this space. I’d been through much worse when I was an academic advisor at a Christian university. Racism, sexism, harassment, and workplace bullying were sadly norms in that environment. However, some of what I’ve experienced as a Black educator hasn’t been normal … It doesn’t seem normal to be the only Black educator in my department – in a predominantly Black school. One of my Black colleagues once said, “It should look like a Tyler Perry movie in here.” But it doesn’t. It didn’t feel normal being reprimanded in a meeting (during my second year of teaching) by an administrator who went in on...

The Day I Made A Will

When I was a teenager, I remember writing a list of my greatest fears. One of the things I listed was death. Looking back, it was an interesting item to list because inevitably, death is something each of us will face at some point in our lives. Even though it’s no longer a fear of mine, I understand why and how it’s not a comfortable thing for everyone to navigate. But regardless, this past summer I completed a detailed will. I signed it, had witnesses sign it, and got it notarized. As I was getting everything done, one of the witnesses looked at me and said, “You know, it’s just that you’re so young…” I’ve learned that death doesn’t care how young or how old you are. You can be five, fifteen, thirty, or fifty, and it’s still something that happens. Completing my will wasn’t scary. It gave me peace of mind having documentation in place stating my detailed directives and requests. A year ago, I had one of my kidneys removed. It was a surgery that came with risks that were presented cle...

Ditching Dating And Decentering Men

Today’s current dating climate is bizarre. It’s grown so bizarre, that men barely, if ever in some cases, will approach a woman in person and ask her out on a date. Instead, the new normal has become DM sliding, creeping on social media accounts, and liking photos to build romantic connections, which honestly doesn’t sound too romantic or appealing to me at all. As a child of the 90s and a teenager of the early 2000s, I miss and prefer the time when men interacted with women without hiding behind technology. There was something special about handwritten cards and notes, thoughtful dates, serendipity, and intentionality. After having some unpleasant encounters, embarrassing moments, and failed set ups (from well meaning people who believe I need to be partnered), I’ve decided, that now, at 36, to choose me. I’m ditching dating and decentering men. I’m no longer interested in meeting anyone, dating, or creating space to prioritize a relationship. I’ve never been a male-centered woman any...

Making Waves