Forgiveness can be complicated. There have been times I’ve found it unnatural. Because sometimes, my natural reaction or response when I’ve felt wronged, hurt, or offended, was to come up with creative ways to be vengeful to the person or people who upset, harmed, or intentionally inflicted some kind of pain towards me, or anyone else I care about or love. All kinds of thoughts have run through my mind:
God, how could you let this happen?
God, why did this happen?
Why should I be nice to them or forgive them for what they did? Especially after what they did?
I hope they get exactly what they deserve.
I hope they get it back… and worse.
Complicated, isn’t it?
If most of us were led by our flesh instead of the Holy Spirit, we’d likely do what we could to get even with those who’ve wronged us. I know I’ve had to go in my prayer closet and really let go of my desire to get even with different people. And it wasn’t easy. But as a believer, I know God instructs us to be forgiving. Even if and when we don’t like it. Ephesians 4:32 reads, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
God loves us all unconditionally. And no matter how bad we mess up or screw up, He still loves us and is willing to forgive us. So why is it a battle for us mere mortals to walk in forgiveness? Revenge might feel good for a moment, but its consequences can cause serious damage. It’s not our place to take things into our own hands to get back at someone who did us wrong. That’s God’s job. And I’ll admit, when God gets involved, things can get turned up. So turned up, that you may find yourself sympathetic towards your wrongdoers. I’ve seen it happen. And I can admit, it’s nothing to rejoice about. Forgiveness is still something I really have to work at sometimes, especially when the person on the other end of it has been someone who’s been cold, heartless, unapologetic, intentionally insulting, or shown little to no remorse, but I know even if they don’t do the right thing, I still have to flex my Christian muscles and do what’s right. So, I choose to shelve the need to be vengeful or to let my mind wander to a mean-spirited place. I’ll take the high road.
The view up top is nice.
I’ve also come to the realization that as much as I’d love to clap back at anyone who has done me wrong, thrown shade my way, or does something messed up towards myself or anyone I care about, I don’t have the luxury to be childish, vengeful, petty, reckless, stupid, or ratchet. I can’t afford to get caught up in that kind of foolishness. I mentor some young women who look up to me, and when you know people are paying attention to you, you’re less inclined (and should be less inclined) to act like an idiot and step with a spirit of getting even. Which is why anytime I get the urge to be led by my flesh, I pause, pray, and turn things over to God. And I encourage others to do the same. It won’t always be easy, but again, taking the high road is worth it. God’s incredibly involved in what happens in our lives. Even when it’s been things that were awful, unfair, or unjust. He knows who did what. He knows who was involved. And He’s got you. Surrender everything you feel over to Him, and let Him handle the rest.