Skip to main content

Haters

I have haters. It’s odd but I guess I’d better get used to dealing with them if I plan to keep winning. What’s interesting about all this is I’ve never considered myself the kind of person that would have haters. I mean, I already know I’m blessed, gifted, smart, beautiful (both inside and out), and not to mention so, so dope lol but the fact that anyone would find me intimidating or threatening is always a surprise to me. It’s intriguing to embody that level of power. Since I have it though, might as well learn how to wield it.

Jealousy is an even more complicated thing I never imagined being up against. Crazy as it seems, I do have people in my life that at some point, have been or either are jealous of me, and it’s awful. Jealousy is cruel. Now, before I go on, I’m not having a Mean Girls, Gretchen Wieners moment thinking, I’m sorry that people are so jealous of me, but I can’t help it that I’m popular. I’m not popular.  It’s nothing like that, but dealing with hate and jealousy are heavy burdens to bear. Especially, when I've been the kind of person that has cheered for others on the sidelines only to see the cheering not be returned. All of this became painfully obvious and apparent to me when…

Things would get silent as things got better for me. It’s funny how people pull away when you’re on the come up. Spoiler: Haters aren’t always who you think they’ll be. Eventually, they’ll become more apparent to you as things change. It’s sad but true.

I finished school, got a college degree, and began embracing new opportunities (all of which I worked my behind off for.) People hate and want the perks, but don’t want to do the work. I’ll never understand that.

I created my own writing platform. I kept getting turned away from other places and thought, why don’t I just do my own thing? If I don’t believe in myself, why would anyone else? I have the ability to create content, and bring other dope writers on board when the time is right.

There has been a guy. Because, you know, there’s always a guy that seems to destroy the sacred bonds of sisterhood, which should never be the case. I’ve had some experiences that definitely brought some hater-like vibes. At first, I wondered if maybe I was trippin’ about this, until it kept happening. So, apparently, if a guy is a Christian, who also happens to be relatively normal (normal meaning a non-creeper) smart, funny, cute, and available, then the likelihood of many girls calling imaginary “dibs” on him will happen. I must have missed the memo about non-creeper Christian guys being in short supply. This has also happened to me with non-Christian guys, too, but I was appalled to experience this amongst a community of believers. Anyways, if the guy might be checking for you, even if this is at first oblivious to you, and obvious to others, then you’ll likely get the cold shoulder, winces full of shade, and be the girl the other girls don’t like all because you happened to catch the eye of the available stud. Believe it or not, this kind of foolishness happens to me often. I can’t help if I’m the chosen one (totally kidding…or am I?) but in all seriousness, this is uncool. Being at odds over a guy is lame.  

I finally made the decision to choose and love myself - confidently, authentically, and unapologetically. If anyone can’t handle that, they don’t deserve to be a part of my life.

By the way, to any and every salty person I’ve ever encountered, how does that salt taste? I really want to know lol. Again, I'm kidding. Being salty isn’t a good look for anyone.

But on a more serious note, all of this has taught me three key things I’ll always keep in mind…

Blessings, opportunities, and just being who you are can create envy.
You can’t be friends or chill with someone who wants your life.
It’s better to keep much of what you’re doing, working on, or planning to do on the down low. You don’t need any hate or jealousy contaminating your grind.


You’re welcome :)
Labels:

Popular posts from this blog

The Day I Became A Kidney Donor

About a year ago, I had a dream my dad wanted to talk to our family about something serious. I wasn’t sure what he wanted to discuss, but I knew it was something I needed to prepare myself for. Around the time after I had this dream, I remember stopping by my parents place and sensing something was going on that they weren’t telling me. I tried to dismiss what I’d been feeling, but I couldn’t shake it. Something serious was happening. As I returned to my home after visiting them one day, I was in my kitchen washing dishes when a heaviness hit my heart like nothing I’d ever felt before. Something’s wrong with dad. That’s what that dream was about. God, what’s going on? As I continued washing dishes, I started crying and praying. Then in mid-spring, my dad held an unexpected family meeting that would change all our lives forever. He hesitated at first, and as his voice started cracking and he started crying, he said, “Well, I wanted to talk to ya’ll to tell you that I have kidney disea...
Read more

Thoughts From a Black Educator: Qualified, Credentialed, and Constantly Undermined

I’m a Black educator in my fifth year of teaching middle school English, and in my third as the 8th Grade English PLC (Professional Learning Community) Lead. And while I genuinely enjoy the purposeful work I get to do, seeing the growth of my scholars, and continuing to hone my skills in a content area I’ve loved since I was a little girl, I’ve had to confront some unpleasant experiences in this space.  I’d been through much worse when I was an academic advisor at a Christian university. Racism, sexism, harassment, and workplace bullying were sadly norms in that environment. However, some of what I’ve experienced as a Black educator hasn’t been normal … It doesn’t seem normal to be the only Black educator in my department – in a predominantly Black school. One of my Black colleagues once said, “It should look like a Tyler Perry movie in here.” But it doesn’t. It didn’t feel normal being reprimanded in a meeting (during my second year of teaching) by an administrator who went in on...
Read more

The Day I Made A Will

When I was a teenager, I remember writing a list of my greatest fears. One of the things I listed was death. Looking back, it was an interesting item to list because inevitably, death is something each of us will face at some point in our lives. Even though it’s no longer a fear of mine, I understand why and how it’s not a comfortable thing for everyone to navigate. But regardless, this past summer I completed a detailed will. I signed it, had witnesses sign it, and got it notarized. As I was getting everything done, one of the witnesses looked at me and said, “You know, it’s just that you’re so young…” I’ve learned that death doesn’t care how young or how old you are. You can be five, fifteen, thirty, or fifty, and it’s still something that happens. Completing my will wasn’t scary. It gave me peace of mind having documentation in place stating my detailed directives and requests. A year ago, I had one of my kidneys removed. It was a surgery that came with risks that were presented cle...
Read more