In the July issue of Cosmopolitan magazine I came across an article titled: Ambition or Love: Do You Have to Choose? I
was alarmed at some of my findings, as well as some of the harsh realities of being
an ambitious woman. There are many men that claim they like dating a woman in
charge, until they actually do. Jenna Birch writes, “The Fallout: some women
are downplaying their career goals to bag a bae. Not okay!” As I read through the
article I was floored. I found some of the stories that different ambitious
women shared to be funny and insightful, yet a bit discouraging. There are
women working hard to have careers of their own, many of whom are intelligent,
beautiful, driven, and making serious bank but desiring, love. That’s
understandable, but turning down ambitions to snag and/or keep a guy is awful. I
like to believe that it’s possible to obtain both ambition and love, but it
depends on the situation. I believe there are men that can celebrate women who
are incredibly successful and some who can’t handle it. Some of the guys that
commented on the article shared that they like smart, beautiful, and successful
women, but find them intimidating, which translates to me as a guy simply being, insecure. I’m just beginning to ease into the career world, and I’ve seen this. I believe
society has evolved past what it means to be a traditional woman, even though some men and women still seem to be
stuck in the 50’s. It’s time to get woke. The reality that some men may face,
is that they may end up with a woman that makes more money than them, is in a
higher position, and unapologetic about it. I feel like a real man would
support that, and not let his ego be bruised by it. If I had to choose between
ambition or love, I’d take ambition. Naturally, I’m filled with love but love
doesn’t pay the way a stable career does. I like stability and it’s important for
me to have a life of my own, and to flourish to the fullest of my potential. I
can’t see myself giving that up for a guy, and why should I? I think the bigger
question beyond choosing between ambition or love, is can you be with someone
and have both? It’s good food for thought.
About a year ago, I had a dream my dad wanted to talk to our family about something serious. I wasn’t sure what he wanted to discuss, but I knew it was something I needed to prepare myself for. Around the time after I had this dream, I remember stopping by my parents place and sensing something was going on that they weren’t telling me. I tried to dismiss what I’d been feeling, but I couldn’t shake it. Something serious was happening. As I returned to my home after visiting them one day, I was in my kitchen washing dishes when a heaviness hit my heart like nothing I’d ever felt before. Something’s wrong with dad. That’s what that dream was about. God, what’s going on? As I continued washing dishes, I started crying and praying. Then in mid-spring, my dad held an unexpected family meeting that would change all our lives forever. He hesitated at first, and as his voice started cracking and he started crying, he said, “Well, I wanted to talk to ya’ll to tell you that I have kidney disea...