Red flags. Instinct. Intuition.
They always reveal what’s obvious. Hindsight does too. When I meet a guy it
doesn’t take long for me to figure out if he’d be a great match or not. I ask
myself important questions, pay close attention, and will eventually ask any
guy I’m considering dating or having a future with the following:
Is
he a Christian?
Is
he single?
How
does he take care of himself?
Does
he communicate well?
Does
he tell too much of his business or is he more reserved?
What’s
his relationship like with the Lord, his family, and friends?
What
kind of people does he hang out with?
How
does he behave on social media and in person?
How
does he act when he’s angry, sad, stressed, or disappointed?
How
does he act or respond under pressure?
How
does he handle money?
Does
he pay his bills on time?
Is
he employed and able to maintain steady employment?
What’s
his work ethic like?
Will he have good boundaries in a relationship? Is he a flirt?
Will
he respect me? Can he lead and protect me?
Is
he on the down low? Attracted to other men? Has he ever struggled with his sexuality?
Is
he boyfriend/husband material?
Can
he go without sex before marriage?
Does
he want to get married?
Does
he have a promiscuous past? Has he been tested for STD’s and would he be
willing to take a blood test if we’re engaged and planning to marry?
Is
he comfortable talking about sex, boundaries, and expectations if we’re engaged
and planning to marry?
Does
he care about his health? (Spiritual, physical, and emotional)
Does
he have a history of abuse, addiction, cheating, or mental illness? Do the men
in his family?
Does
he have a criminal record?
Does
he have a crazy ex, a child, or kids I don’t know about?
Does
he want kids? Would he be cool not having them?
Would
I want kids with this person?
Would
he make a great father?
What
was his childhood like?
What
was his relationship like with his own parents?
Has
he been separated or divorced before? If so, why?
Does
he make plans or is he impulsive?
I believe you know when someone’s
a good match for you or not. People will always reveal themselves if you allow
them to. Don’t be afraid to ask important questions before dating or committing
to anyone. Of course I don’t suggest bombarding someone with all these
questions at once, but they should gradually be brought up in conversation. I’ve
been guilty of turning a blind eye to red flags and warning signs with
different guys, because I got tired of being single and thought I’d end up
alone if I didn’t settle and just take who I could get. That’s dangerous and
foolish. Trust your instincts and listen to your intuition. Know what you want
and don’t want, and understand it’s okay to pass on someone you don’t see a
future with. Life is too short to waste time.