We Were Friends for a Season… And That’s Okay

A lot of people don’t know how to be good friends. Mutual respect, genuine love, trust, consistency, and loyalty are traits hard to come by. I haven’t had too many friendships that consisted of those things. I have however, had plenty of shallow ones. Shallow, consisting of everything from hundreds of social media friends I don’t consider to be real friends, some peers I may have shared classes with, people I’ve attended church services with, a handful of folks I have things in common with, and some who I’ve met in passing. See the differences? One morning, I thought about all the different friends that have come in and out of my life, and the first thing I thought was, we were friends for a season and that’s okay. Whenever I’ve considered someone a friend, I really loved them. Which is why no matter whom they were or how we parted ways, I always felt those voids when things unexpectedly shifted. Most of the time some of my ended friendships weren’t instant, we’re over, cases but many times, there were things that gradually led to parting ways. Life stuff like college, jobs, serious relationships, kids, and careers caused some of us to drift apart, but I really felt the distance as I grew closer to God and I felt even more discomfort when…

I was always the one reaching out first with no reciprocity in return.

my phone only rang or had incoming texts when someone only wanted or needed something.

some friends traded up.

some of my friends got into partying (and while I did partake) I ultimately wasn’t about that life.

a former friend hooked up with a guy I was talking to and thought I didn’t know about it.

my texts were ignored.

some of my friends went out without inviting me, only later for me to see their good time posted all over social media.

I hugged a friend like it would be the last time, because to my surprise, it would be the last time.

I said I love you and it wasn’t said back.

some of them walked away with no warning or explanations.

I had to learn how to do my own thing and be my own best friend, and you know what? I love her, because even when people haven’t stuck around, she knows whenever it gets down to her and God, she’ll be just fine. Every friend I’ve ever had has left me with some unforgettable and special memories, I’ll never forget. A lot of us were just friends for a season and that’s okay. Being able to recognize that, eases my spirit, and makes it easier to no longer associate the title of friend to people who aren’t worthy.

There are friends who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother – Proverbs 18:24

The Day I Became A Kidney Donor

About a year ago, I had a dream my dad wanted to talk to our family about something serious. I wasn’t sure what he wanted to discuss, but I knew it was something I needed to prepare myself for. Around the time after I had this dream, I remember stopping by my parents place and sensing something was going on that they weren’t telling me. I tried to dismiss what I’d been feeling, but I couldn’t shake it. Something serious was happening. As I returned to my home after visiting them one day, I was in my kitchen washing dishes when a heaviness hit my heart like nothing I’d ever felt before. Something’s wrong with dad. That’s what that dream was about. God, what’s going on? As I continued washing dishes, I started crying and praying. Then in mid-spring, my dad held an unexpected family meeting that would change all our lives forever. He hesitated at first, and as his voice started cracking and he started crying, he said, “Well, I wanted to talk to ya’ll to tell you that I have kidney disea...

Dear Young Black Professionals

As you embark on your career, I want you to know some things and stay woke about what you’ll be up against. Please understand that no matter what, you have value, and you matter. Always remember that. As progressive as this world and different workplaces may seem, every workplace has a culture. You’ll be in different places where a lot of people who don’t look like you will be in the room. But know that you belong in those rooms too. Spend some time observing and studying those spaces and learn as much as you can. There will be people you work with who will make presumptions about your competence, education, and ability to fulfill your job duties. There will be more who will think less of you because of the color of your skin and try to disqualify you the moment you make an error, mistake, or ask questions about things you may not understand. This will all feel uncomfortable and you may get insecure, feel like you’re all by yourself, and think you don’t belong there, but ride it out...

Black Male Athletes And Their Dating Preferences

In the 2017 horror film Get Out , there’s an unforgettable scene when one of the film’s villainous characters, Rose, a young white woman, is seen eating Fruit Loops and drinking a bottle of milk through a straw as she searches the internet for “Top NCAA prospects.” This moment in the film is frightening because the purpose of Rose’s search is to ultimately lure young and unsuspecting Black men to a deadly fate after she begins dating them. If you’ve seen the film, you know how everything ultimately turns out, but if you haven’t, you’ll have a better understanding of the bigger picture. Recently, college football superstar and future NFL prospect, Travis Hunter, became a source of media scrutiny and controversy regarding his relationship with his fiancée, Leanna Lenee. Much of the criticism was around his fiancée and comments she shared about how she wasn’t initially interested in Travis before they started dating. Additionally, she received backlash regarding the couple’s interact...

Making Waves